Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Changing common elements

[O3C11N6G (normangauss]

Dear Sharon Villines:

I have a powerful need for things to be done according to the law.  It is 
the way I feel.
I care less about jeopardizing relationships than feeling comfortable that 
the
community I live in protects is members.  Besides, I have never had close 
relationships.
I feel more comfortable doing my own thing than making sure that everybody 
in my
community likes me.  I have always felt constricted in a social environment.

Yesterday, I found out that I have Asperger's Syndrome.  I was born this 
way.
Nerds have a high rate of this condition.  So I am a nerd.
This condition is caused by a deficiency of the brain and is regarded as a 
very mild
form of autism.  The movie, Rain Man, portrayed a man with autism.  He had 
very weak
attachments to other people and needed strict adherence to his routine.  I 
am not that
extreme, but my attachments to friends have always been weak.  I am 72 years 
old and not
likely to be able to change.  Perhaps therapy can help me be with people and 
not antagonize
them.  But I have never looked forward to social gatherings and do not 
expect to do so in the future.
With therapy I hope to be able to recognize body language and facial 
expressions to guide
me.  I talked to a professional psychologist today who has many clients like 
me.  That is why
I am so sure of my diagnosis.

The main reason I live in cohousing is because of my wife who loves it here. 
I don't fit in here,
and if it were not for my wife, to whom I am very close, I would probably 
live in an ordinary residence.

Now, all of cohousing land has a better idea of who I am.  Trying to change 
me and replying to my
emails as if I were typical will not do much good.  Becky Weaver has written 
the most
useful advice.

There is lots of friction here and perhaps the easiest solution is to move 
out.

Norm Gauss