Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Internal listserv (was: Defining Cohousing)

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Nov 21, 2008, at 7:29 PM, Kay Argyle wrote:

> Our community has also had disagreement over how public or private our
> community listserve should be regarded as, and whether someone who  
> moves out
> should be instantly removed or someone interested in the community  
> allowed
> on.

We limit our list to anyone in residence or owners not in residence.  
"In residence" does include renters or au pairs who are fairly  
temporary and who do not participate in the community. We encourage  
them to join and read at minimum because we use the internal list for  
security notices, broken gates, keypads not working, etc.

Most people unsubscribe themselves as soon as they move, or even as  
soon as they have made final plans to move. If they don't remove  
themselves, I usually send an email and ask if they want to be removed  
from both our lists or would they like to remain on the public list.

The desire to blur boundaries seems to be very strong in some people.  
I have noticed that it is often accompanied by a similar tendency not  
to fully bond with the core group. Either denying or refusing to  
define a core group.

Wanting the "whole world" welcome and included means there is nothing  
to welcome them into.

We also have people who were temporary renters 6 years ago who want to  
be still considered members and to sign up for meals and use the  
commonhouse as if they lived here.  Some think it is wonderful; others  
feel invaded and imposed upon.

Plus there is the added problem of who is responsible for them? Who  
tells them that using the _____ isn't done after noon or midnight or  
whatever. Who cleans up after them if they don't clean up after  
themselves?

"Oh, someone will do it," is the response. Whenever I hear this, I  
know it won't be the person who says it.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing,Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org