Cohousing-L Mailing List: Using community values as an arbitration point in legitimizing a block

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

One of the problems inherent in the design of cohousing as a community form,
is that it is almost all based on private or rarely group mortgages. Most of
the time, if you create a strong values statement as a requirement to
purchase within the community, the lenders, if they are paying attention,
may very well refuse to lend because of the limiting of the marketability of
the property. So most cohousing groups do not set up a values check for a
new buyer and thus, as turn over happens, or even the last sales happen,
there may be a very large difference of understanding of what group values
exist, if any. This then creates confusion of what is a personal value and
what is an expected community value. In the years I wandered around doing
group work, I found this to be a common source of conflict in cohousing
groups. Values can be a really hot button issue, especially around child
raising, work ethics, environmentalism, cleanliness, and food choices.  When
groups promotional outreach material gives the impression of values which
are not actual community values, it can lead to withdrawal, dropout, and
severe disappointment.

Once upon a time, at some community center somewhere I saw something like
the following posted over the door:  I did not move here to live up to your
expectations, and so it would be unreasonable to expect you to live up to
mine. However, as a community, let us give each other grace, forgiveness and
trust...

Seemed like good advice

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood