Cohousing-L Mailing List: Community Agreements [Was: FIRST POST Questions and sort of statement (Wayne Tyson)]

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

I agree with Liz, that there are always rules, just like there are always 
leaders in groups. The only issue is acknowledged or unacknowledged. The only 
ones you can control are the acknowledged; thus these are the ones that make 
you free. 

A person in my community, no longer lives here, thankfully, was a major 
anti-rule, pro-freedom flower child. He thought anyone who wanted a rule about 
anything was a tight ass, no brain. This freedom loving had a rule for me, 
however. It was watch your wallet.

He somehow never antied-up when playing poker and on pizza night, took the 
biggest piece, and only paid for it if he had change and it happened to be in 
his hand.

But I think what was meant in this First Post is no "meaningless" rules. What 
rules are, or should be, is agreements between people about what is acceptable 
to both people or necessary requirements to maintain the property safely. What 
do we expect?  What will make this place work best? What does this need in 
order to function?

Community agreements are what make and preserve community.

One thing you learn in cohousing, is that there is no such thing as common 
sense. Common sense only exists in culturally and educationally similar groups. 
The minute diversity walks in, everybody needs to sit right down and talk about 
things.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can 
have some conversation." Judith Martin