Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Rules

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On 21 Sep 2010, at 8:32 PM, Wayne Tyson wrote:

> Now that that discussion has run its course, would anyone care to comment 
> about the kinds of rules that are essential for intentional communities?

Be clear about ownership from the outset. What is personal property and what is 
shared. Design your facility so this is clear. We had a number of households 
who had never owned property before, were moving from shared apartments where 
they rented and had no a clue about the responsibilities of ownership.

Define financial responsibilities. Money does not drop from the sky. Donations 
might buy a new TV but they won't be available to fix the leaks in the basement 
— at least not more than once. 

Be clear about who makes what decisions. Everyone? A team? An individual? 
Consensus only works if people share a common aim and are able and willing to 
sit together to work out shared solutions. Define the decision-makers, define 
the aim, set participation expectations. No participation, no participation.

More than rules, talk about living in close proximity with shared quarters. Who 
knew Jeannie thought running through the courtyard naked at 3 am singing the 
Star Spangled Banner was a requirement for freedom? Consciousness-raising.

Define how people get out of this. What if you don't like it? What are the 
expectations of others for selling or just withdrawing? Can people say, well, I 
want to live here but I'm not cohousing anymore. I was shocked to discover 
after move-in that some people never intended to stay for more than 2-3 years. 
They were planning on their move out when they moved in.

It's less about set rules than understanding that you need to know what your 
neighbor's expectations are. That will help you understand your own. Then you 
will understand what rules you need to in order clarify understandings. The act 
of working out the rules is what is important. Once you've figured them out 
it's important to write them down. But growth is in the process.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all 
the time." George Orwell