Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: guest post on privacy in cohousing?

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Oct 3, 2015, at 10:36 AM, R Philip Dowds <rpdowds [at] comcast.net> wrote:
> 
> But from a community perspective ... it's kind of a loss.  I personally think 
> cohousing works best if it can achieve a critical mass of energy and 
> enthusiasm:  That is, lots of friends and neighbors actually interested in 
> the cohousing lifestyle, and in working on cohousing challenges like sharing 
> and consensus.  And ready to invest the time it takes to make cohousing work. 
>  Okay, so maybe every coho has two or three units of non-participants.  It 
> happens.  But if most units adopt an "introverted" approach, then it won't be 
> much of a community.

I don’t think introverted can be equated with non-participating. Some people 
are both extroverts and non-participating.

The sign of an introvert — and it took me a long time to learn that I wasn’t 
just strange — is that introverts build energy while alone. Extroverts are 
energized by social contact and even become anxious without it. 

I know a family that got a dog for the one extroverted child. It was the only 
way she could get enough social interaction and not drive the rest of them 
crazy.

I have an extroverted friend who can only decide which movie she wants us to go 
to if she calls me and talks to me about all the well-reviewed movies, what I 
want to see, what is on at the right time, whether there is parking, where 
there is a good lunch place next door, or …………. I go nuts over these calls. I 
will go to any movie she chooses just to get off the phone.

I decide what I want to see, ask someone if they would like to see it, and if 
they don’t, go alone. Many extroverts can’t imagine doing that. It astounds 
them. 

(I’m generalizing to illustrate the differences.)

I once did a study of how much time I need alone in order be friendly when I go 
out. 9 hours a day (not sleeping) is optimum. I sometimes stay up late because 
I haven’t had enough alone time during the day. I’ve talked to other introverts 
who do the same thing. But we can be participatory at other times.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org