Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Age-restricted access to common house?

[Beverly Jones Redekop (beverly.jones.redekop]

Thanks Liz. I am just clarifying based on one of your comments: the rule
prohibiting tweens entering the common house without a constant supervisor
is a preventative rule. It wasn't created in response to misbehaviour. It
comes from retired residents who strongly claim, "I know kids!"

I'm a hopelessly stable 42-year-old married parent with an excellent
respectable profession and no interesting vices, so I don't think the rule
is in reaction to "at-risk" parents either.

No more comments, I promise :-) Just clarifying that the rule is not a
punishment in reaction to an incident.

On Sun, Dec 11, 2016, 7:37 PM Liz Ryan Cole <lizryancole [at] me.com> wrote:

>
> I hope people reply to this list with their answers.  I have not moved
> into our cohousing community yet, but I am
> a) the mother of 4 adult sons (and 4 grandchildren) and
> b) am a veteran of collective living in my younger days,including when our
> sons were children and
> c) am part owner of a hospitality business where families come with
> children to stay in our cabins and swim in our pond.
>
> The one thing I would add to this conversation is some perspective —  that
> if a community is going to worry about kids, they will find that people
> aged from 13 to 21 are going to find many more creative ways to get into
> trouble than any 9 year old -  (said with much love and many happy
> memories).
>
> I know perfectly well that if my 9 year old grandsons are quiet for 15
> minutes, I am going to want to quietly check into what they are up to, and
> that if there are three or four 15 year olds working together on a school
> project, that I’d better be offering snacks, and wandering by on a regular
> basis.  At the very least, a good argument for design that allows for
> spaces for adults to work/read, etc. in the common house without being on
> top of the kids who view the entire place as their home.
>
> and if kids don’t follow the rules, shouldn’t the consequences be that
> they lose privileges, not that all kids are penalized?
>
> :)  liz
>
>
> Liz Ryan Cole
> lizryancole [at] me.com
> Pinnacle Cohousing at Loch Lyme Lodge
> Lyme, NH
> Home 802.785.4124
> Work 802.831.1240
> Lodge 603-795-2141
>
> I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a
> desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
> ― E.B. White
>
> On Dec 11, 2016, at 9:53 PM, Beverly Jones Redekop <
> beverly.jones.redekop [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> Just checking in: do any other cohousing communities exist where people
> under 13 are locked out of the common house, or are we the only one?
>
> I have only heard from communities that allow people under 13 to use the
> common house quietly on their own.
>
> The rule here requires a 12 year old to find an adult to provide continuous
> supervision if he wishes to read in the common house or play chess with
> another person who is, say, 9-12. It is not sufficient to have a parent
> check in every half hour.
>
> I promise not to say judgemental things if you disclose that your community
> has similar rules. As a mother of responsible, considerate sons aged 9 and
> 12, I have heartache that my community has this rule, but perhaps I will
> feel less disappointed if I learn that this is a common type of rule.
>
> Beverly
> Groundswell Cohousing at Yarrow Ecovillage
> Yarrow, BC, Canada
>
> On Sat, Nov 19, 2016, 1:29 PM Beverly Jones Redekop <
> beverly.jones.redekop [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >
> > I live in Groundswell Cohousing at Yarrow Ecovillage in BC, Canada, and
> our
> > common house is a separate building with keypad access. The code used to
> be
> > shared with all residents, but for awhile now (perhaps a year?), it has
> > been restricted to residents aged 13 and older.
> >
> > Which residents get access to the common house in your communities?
> >
> >
>
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