Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Screening prospective members for sexual abuse in their background

[Patricia Muldoon (engage]

Might I recommend that in addition to the camera, that there be a window in the 
door. That is a step my church took to help prevent abuse. 

Patti Muldoon

> On Feb 28, 2022, at 3:32 PM, Elizabeth Rosenau <ejrosenau [at] gmail.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> Hi Jim,
> 
> Thank you so much for your disclosure and your thoughts.  Your story is an 
> important addition to the conversation.
> 
> My community, Compass Cohousing, is still in the development phase.  I am the 
> only woman on the Development Team.  During our planning stages, we decided 
> to have a music room in the underground parkade that we would soundproof.  We 
> also decided that it could double as a teen hangout space.
> 
> I began to have serious concerns that we were inadvertently providing the 
> perfect space for a predator.  I raised it with our cohousing consultant and 
> the others on the development team and could immediately see that they didn’t 
> share my concerns.  But when I mentioned it to another community member who 
> works in social services and is a rape survivor, she immediately saw the 
> problem.
> 
> In the end, we decided to include electrical for a camera right outside of 
> the door to the space so that we could have a record of who goes in and out.  
> I regret that we have to think this way and take this extra measure, but I 
> place a high value on safety, as do others in the community.
> 
> I’d be interested in hearing other people’s thoughts and experiences around 
> creating safer spaces within their communities.
> 
> Elizabeth Rosenau, Compass Cohousing. (Langley, British Columbia, Canada)
> 
> 
>> On Feb 27, 2022, at 12:23 PM, Jim Bronson <jimbronsonashland [at] gmail.com> 
>> wrote:
>> 
>> Wow, interesting sharings on the listserv showing how we can see this issue
>> so differently.  Thanks to all who have weighed in.  I believe getting this
>> mentionable and considered will strengthen our communities.
>> 
>> Full disclosure: I was sexually abused by a dear person to me who happened
>> to be a catholic priest.  To be completely clear, if a catholic priest
>> showed up as a prospective member at River Song I would be needing to find
>> out about his relationship history, any behavioral treatment he may have
>> experienced, and what his addictions may be.
>> 
>> Does that disadvantage anybody?  Does that discriminate against people who
>> have grown and learned after a mistake made earlier in their lives?  I am
>> sorry for that, if it is so, but this is the best I can do in a complex
>> situation where I feel justified in building a safe environment and being
>> more at ease from predatory assaults.
>> 
>> Thanks for considering this difficult and nuanced issue.  I would love to
>> continue a respectful exchange with any who will
>> 
>> Jim Bronson
>> River Song Cohousing Community
>> Eugene, Oregon
>> jimbronsonashland [at] gmail.com
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