Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Screening prospective members for sexual abuse in their background

[Elizabeth Rosenau (ejrosenau]

Thanks so much for this excellent idea.  I will look into it.

Elizabeth 

> On Mar 1, 2022, at 8:36 AM, Patricia Muldoon <engage [at] houserock.org> 
> wrote:
> 
> Might I recommend that in addition to the camera, that there be a window in 
> the door. That is a step my church took to help prevent abuse. 
> 
> Patti Muldoon
> 
>> On Feb 28, 2022, at 3:32 PM, Elizabeth Rosenau <ejrosenau [at] gmail.com> 
>> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi Jim,
>> 
>> Thank you so much for your disclosure and your thoughts.  Your story is an 
>> important addition to the conversation.
>> 
>> My community, Compass Cohousing, is still in the development phase.  I am 
>> the only woman on the Development Team.  During our planning stages, we 
>> decided to have a music room in the underground parkade that we would 
>> soundproof.  We also decided that it could double as a teen hangout space.
>> 
>> I began to have serious concerns that we were inadvertently providing the 
>> perfect space for a predator.  I raised it with our cohousing consultant and 
>> the others on the development team and could immediately see that they 
>> didn’t share my concerns.  But when I mentioned it to another community 
>> member who works in social services and is a rape survivor, she immediately 
>> saw the problem.
>> 
>> In the end, we decided to include electrical for a camera right outside of 
>> the door to the space so that we could have a record of who goes in and out. 
>>  I regret that we have to think this way and take this extra measure, but I 
>> place a high value on safety, as do others in the community.
>> 
>> I’d be interested in hearing other people’s thoughts and experiences around 
>> creating safer spaces within their communities.
>> 
>> Elizabeth Rosenau, Compass Cohousing. (Langley, British Columbia, Canada)
>> 
>> 
>>>> On Feb 27, 2022, at 12:23 PM, Jim Bronson <jimbronsonashland [at] 
>>>> gmail.com> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Wow, interesting sharings on the listserv showing how we can see this issue
>>> so differently.  Thanks to all who have weighed in.  I believe getting this
>>> mentionable and considered will strengthen our communities.
>>> 
>>> Full disclosure: I was sexually abused by a dear person to me who happened
>>> to be a catholic priest.  To be completely clear, if a catholic priest
>>> showed up as a prospective member at River Song I would be needing to find
>>> out about his relationship history, any behavioral treatment he may have
>>> experienced, and what his addictions may be.
>>> 
>>> Does that disadvantage anybody?  Does that discriminate against people who
>>> have grown and learned after a mistake made earlier in their lives?  I am
>>> sorry for that, if it is so, but this is the best I can do in a complex
>>> situation where I feel justified in building a safe environment and being
>>> more at ease from predatory assaults.
>>> 
>>> Thanks for considering this difficult and nuanced issue.  I would love to
>>> continue a respectful exchange with any who will
>>> 
>>> Jim Bronson
>>> River Song Cohousing Community
>>> Eugene, Oregon
>>> jimbronsonashland [at] gmail.com
>>> _________________________________________________________________
>>> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
>>> http://L.cohousing.org/info
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>> _________________________________________________________________
>> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
>> http://L.cohousing.org/info
>> 
>> 
>> 
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://L.cohousing.org/info
> 
> 
>