Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Diversity in cohousing

[Lisa Kuntz (lisa.kuntz]

Grace,
I recently finished taking a Fair Housing class that was mostly for
landlords, but got a lot of good stuff.

This is what I came away with:

*“We can't turn some people away in order to wait for others who meet
certain criteria. We have to treat everyone the same.”*

I would like more feedback on how we can be selective and still not be
sued! For example, we cannot tell someone who is differently abled that
they might have a hard time keeping up with expectations for
participation.  What we can do is give them information about participating
on teams and workdays, so that they can decide for themselves.

How can we turn people away because they don't fit in with our criteria for
a racially diverse community, for example?

Are we misunderstanding the Fair Housing laws?

Lisa Kuntz
Daybreak Cohousing



On Sat, Feb 18, 2023 at 12:38 PM Grace Kim <grace [at] schemataworkshop.com>
wrote:

> “We can't turn some people away in order to wait for others who meet
> certain criteria. We have to treat everyone the same.”
>
> If groups are truly seeking diversity/racially equity…this might be
> exactly what you might do…turn others away in order to wait to make room
> for others.
>
> Treating everyone equally is not racial equity…it is kind and human. But
> believing that treating people the same is akin to equality or furthering
> equity is a naive ideal.
> Because it disregards people’s lived experience, and make assumptions that
> everyone is starting from the same level playing field. That’s why the
> “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” rhetoric doesn’t work- that
> assumes everyone has boot straps, or even boots.
>
> Sharon- your experience of people misunderstanding your history/lived
> experience as being a black experience is their/society’s racist belief
> that white people are always educated/better off and that black people
> aren’t middle class and don’t have their own rich histories and cultures.
>
> For those in cohousing who seek diversity/racial equity…I think it’s great
> to keep these conversations going. But people have to personally examine
> what they are comfortable with.
>
> A good test of your personal comfort with being surrounded with people of
> color…try to regularly attend a Black Baptist church or Asian led Buddhist
> meditation group or LatinX catholic mass. (Or pick another non-religious
> community group that regularly meets).
> How does it feel to be the “other”? What do you gain from being in that
> community? What old practices/beliefs/behaviors do you need to give up to
> be welcomed/comfortable?
> How long does this take? Are you willing to take the time to learn? Are
> you willing to tolerate/lean in to the discomfort?
>
> If all this feels like unnecessary work, admit you are not ready…but don’t
> pretend that you are woke or ready for diversity…it just confuses those
> around you.
> Racial Inclusion/acceptance/equity is messy and hard work. There is a LOT
> to gain from trying. But it might not be for everyone.
>
> I’m not an expert…I’m also on this journey. But I have my lived
> experiences. And a LOT of training that I’ve done personally and
> professionally and with my community. Racial equity will be my life’s work,
> interwoven with everything I do.
>
> Grateful to all of you willing to have these conversations.
>
> grace h. kim
> schemata workshop
> (sent via mobile messaging)
> 206.795.2470
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