Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Diversity in Cohousing

[Hafidha Sofia (hafidhaao]

Thank you Crystal. I will be sharing your webinar with my cohousing community. 
I’m a Black woman who lived there for almost 4 years and despite the issues, 
remain an active associate member. I still believe in intentional cohousing 
communities as a village model that can do far more good than harm, if we work 
on our cultures. (I recognize that not all cohousing is particularly 
intentional.) 

I recently saw a quote from Los Horcones, an intentional community in Mexico: 

“Our social problems are solved by changing cultural practices, not by asking 
and hoping people will change.” 

Seems salient to our conversation here.

Hafidha

Songaia Cohousing
Bothell, Washington
Former resident, current associate member

Sent from my iPhone

> On Feb 21, 2023, at 12:36 PM, Kathleen Lowry <kathleenlowrylpcclmft [at] 
> gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Crystal, I am looking forward to your webinar. I hope it includes lots of 
> specific examples!
> 
> I am understanding that what you are saying is that maybe when whites are 
> taking about blacks we know or have met we shouldn’t use words that indicate 
> to us and maybe others how convincing they are, like articulate, well 
> educated, thoughtful, caring, MA or PhD educated etc? 
> 
> Certainly whites use those words when talking about other whites but good to 
> know how it could potentially sound to another individual. 
> 
> I wonder, maybe the world  would be a better place if just drop all those 
> judgements. 
> Kathleen
> 
>> On Feb 21, 2023, at 1:28 PM, Crystal Farmer <crystalbyrdfarmer [at] 
>> gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Responding to Sharon's comments about addressing the comments. Zev did not
>> acknowledge the harm done by stereotyping Black people (via another person)
>> and then further caused harm by calling a Black person "articulate," which
>> is commonly used to describe Black people who don't fit the stereotype of a
>> person using the language he used already! I know it's hard to be aware of
>> these types of trigger words, but it is what it is and it was hurtful.
>> 
>> I think it's valid to make assumptions. It's harmful to make assumptions
>> based on ignorance, which is what happens with racial minorities. It causes
>> harm and it needs to be pointed out. Our response to the pointing out can
>> also cause harm even with the best of intentions. This requires work on
>> multiple levels.
>> 
>> I appreciate those engaging in the conversation. Another plug for my
>> upcoming webinar which is conveniently about what's happening here:
>> https://www.ic.org/event/addressing-microaggressions/.
>> 
>> 
>>>>>> On Feb 21, 2023, at 7:58 AM, Abe Ross <cohoyote [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> 
>>>>> Why do you feel it necessary to note (a) his colour (b) his being
>>> articulate (c) the. colour of the person to whom he is married? Would you
>>> have done that if he were not  person of colour?
>>> 
>>> Since Zev was being accused of assuming that all Black people would use
>>> the language this man used, it is most appropriate to say that this man was
>>> other than what his accusers were assuming him to be assuming about him.
>>> 
>>> It?s important to address comments in context. In this context, Zev was
>>> responding to questions about those very characteristics. The only way to
>>> address them is to address them.
>>> 
>>> If the subject is color, you have to discuss color.
>>> 
>>> Sharon
>>> ----
>>> Sharon Villines
>>> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
>>> http://www.takomavillage.org
>>> 
>>> --
>> Pronouns: she/her
>> 
>> Websites:
>> www.crystalbyrdfarmer.com
>> www.bigsisterteams.com
>> 
>> Schedule a Meeting:
>> https://calendly.com/crystalbyrdfarmer
>> 
>> Buy "The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your
>> Organization" wherever you buy books or online
>> <https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token?aff=28>
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>> 
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