Cohousing-L Mailing List: About conflict in cohousing

[Diana Leafe Christian (diana]

I appreciate Liz Magill's recommending my class on conflict in communities. And 
I agree with her advice that when someone says or does something you don't 
like, to speak up and let them know -- using your best communication skills of 
course!

The class Liz mentioned is "Working Effectively with Three Kinds of Community 
Conflict." While most community conflicts may look like simple interpersonal 
conflict, in my experience there are also two other kinds: "structural 
conflict" (like when when a group doesn't have a clear policy (for example, on 
agendas, proposals, or minutes, or how committees and teams are managed), and 
conflict arising from what I call "especially challenging behaviors" in my 
recent Communities magazine article series. Either of these tend to trigger 
interpersonal conflict as well, making this combined conflict really hard for a 
group to resolve. In my class I share practical, workable solutions that 
communities have used to successfully resolve or contain each kind of conflict. 
The next class (now 7 weeks, not 5 weeks) is Thursday evenings starting April 
17. Here's a link to more information: 
https://www.schoolofintegratedliving.org/working-effectively-with-community-conflict/

To give a sense of the class, here's a link to slide decks for three of the 
many slideshows in the class: You'll see "Three Kinds of Community Conflict," 
"Reducing Structural Conflict -- Managing Visitors to Your Committee or Team," 
and "Reducing Structural Conflict -- Member Surveys, Sounding-Board Meetings, 
and Personal Interviews." 
https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders.1PUTbdgxKU7-g2GhFLGpQ32qud25Qmu89 
(If this link doesn't work please email me at diana [at] ic.org and I'll send 
you link directly in an email.)

And here's a link to all eight articles in the Communities magazine series: 
https://www.gen-us.net/dlc/

My next five-week Sociocracy class, Sociocracy for Communities, Part One, is 
Saturday middays starting January 4. It covers three enjoyable, effective 
Sociocracy processes: Proposal-Forming (which cohousing communities using 
consensus can use and benefit from too!), Consent Decision-Making, and 
Organizing Effective Meetings. Here's the link to more information: 
https://www.schoolofintegratedliving.org/sociocracy-for-communitis-part-one/
Sociocracy for Communities, Part Two, starting Feb 22, covers the Sociocracy 
processes Selecting People for Roles, Role-Improvement Feedback, Consenting to 
Circle Members, and the Circle Structure. It's also Saturday middays.

All good wishes,
Diana Leafe Christian