Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Hafidha Acuay (hafidhaao![]() |
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Date: Sat, 11 Oct 2025 14:23:39 -0700 (PDT) |
Kathryn, Having myself been through a heartbreaking and prolonged neighbor conflict where children were involved, I suggest asking yourself whether you and your family are being *harassed*. This situation could be resolved within a community that has a sound foundation of trust, good relationships, skillful communication, and *courage*. However, even a really lovely community may not have the capacity, structures, or tools to hold this. Waiting for them to figure it out is a recipe for protracted distress. If the community isn't equipped, they can't take the lead or offer protection to anyone being harmed. Without knowing all the sides of your story, I will say that if my neighbors called CPS on me multiple times in bad faith, I would consider it harassment and proceed accordingly. Also: As much as I love community life and processes, trying to usher the community into better processes is not a role I should ever play *while I'm being actively harmed.* Maybe later, long after the situation is resolved, I could support the community by helping to come up with better conflict resolution protocols, but for the moment, my focus must be on protecting my family and myself from false reports of abuse or neglect that could lead to state intervention or worse. The biggest lesson I learned from my experience was that I have to stick up for myself. A lot of pain I felt was in asking why my neighbors weren't sticking up for me or resolving this. The simplest answer is that they weren't any braver than I was! Hafidha On Sat, Oct 11, 2025 at 1:19 PM Kathryn Lowry < kathryn.lowry [at] daybreakcohousing.org> wrote: > I requested mediation with each individual involved in March after > attempts at in-person conversation became unilateral criticisms of my > parenting. The first CPS call was made three days later. > > There’s now a pretense that mediation is happening being presented by the > specific Team constituted by these neighbors, the Team responsible for > setting meeting agendas, ensuring effective governance, educating residents > about our governance structures. > > But what’s really happening is a lot of discussion of scheduling > mediation, scope, and restrictions on who may participate. > > > >
- Re: A culture of surveillance (with CPS calls), (continued)
- Re: A culture of surveillance (with CPS calls) Kathryn Lowry, October 11 2025
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Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Hafidha Sofia, October 11 2025
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Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Linda Gryczan, October 11 2025
- Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Kathryn Lowry, October 11 2025
- Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Hafidha Acuay, October 11 2025
- Re: harassment in cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Kathryn Lowry, October 11 2025
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Re: Preventing cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Linda Gryczan, October 11 2025
- Re: Mediating cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Kathryn Lowry, October 11 2025
- Re: Mediating cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Diana Carroll, October 12 2025
- Re: Community Mediation in cohousing “neighborly awareness” from becoming surveillance (with CPS calls) Kathryn Lowry, October 12 2025
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