Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Through the looking glasses?

[MartyR707 (MartyR707]

In a message dated 1/29/00 10:13:59 AM, aamato [at] worldbank.org writes:

<< At least twice
you mentioned that people from outside the community, either a neighbor or a
member who does not live there.  How do you handle non-resident members?  I 
was
wondering how formal the relationship is.  We are starting to talk about this
since we have had people outside our membership who want to be involved, and
"hang out" with us some times. >>

well, here's a short version:  we had lengthy discussions before move-in on 
how to handle this.  Of course there was lots of disagreement and varying 
points of view.  Especially on what sort of financial contribution they might 
make - anywhere from "nothing" to "it cost us a bundle to build this, they 
should pay to use it" to "why don't they buy a piece of furniture for the 
common house".  We finally decided to move in first and talk about it later.  
there is a currently a proposal brewing for discussion (I haven't seen it).  
Meanwhile, there is a couple who did n't get a unit, but miraculously found a 
rental next door! who are active members of the community.  they are on 
committees, share childcare, eat with us, etc.  It has not been formalized 
yet, but just happened because they made themselves attractive by coming to 
meetings and Helping!  Actually she is kitchen manager even!
And there is a single mother who couldn't afford to buy in but lives two 
blocks away and has been part of the group almost since inception.  She also 
serves on committees, comes to meetings and cooks.  those are our two 
"informal nonresident members" so far.  Both households were members before 
we built and have known us for some time.  Others are starting to show 
interest.  Some of us don't want to have an open dinner scene where whoever 
wants to can come eat for $3, but we also like the idea of more cooks, 
friends, etc.  so we are still working it out.  Stay tuned.

the neighbors that hosted the Taiko drummers are just that - neighbors across 
the street.  They were our biggest opponents when we were trying to get city 
approval (an apple orchard was cleared for 14 houses on two acres right out 
their front window) - and have become our best friends ever since we moved 
in.  they always liked us, but had hoped for fewer homes in their view.  
Their daughter babysits, we share gardening ideas, they gave us champagne 
with personalized labels for our housewarming, etc.  On New Year's while we 
were drumming in their driveway, the husband even came out with handfuls of 
glasses and champagne to share around.  We recently had the whole family over 
for common dinner.
Marty Roberts
Two Acre Wood