|Re: Speaking out||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Gretchen Westlight (grenagora.rdrop.com)|
|Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2000 00:10:14 -0700 (MST)|
When Don and I started coming to Cascadia meetings (3 years ago!), folks apologized after every meeting that there had been so much conflict. We didn't think it was that big of a deal. (And indeed, the group has subsequently had *much* more conflicted meetings, not to mention the ones where process went out the window.) It was IMPERATIVE to us to see how the group handled conflict. We knew it would inevitably arise, and weren't interested in a group where it was glossed over, or people bullied each other, or a few people dominated the rest of the group, or any of the other myriad ways that conflict can be mishandled. Been there, done that, have no patience for it anymore. Good facilitators make all the difference in handling unexpected conflicts *and* explaining things to guests. How guests are included in the meetings can also help their sense of process -- at Cascadia, we ask that guests hold their questions and comments until just before break and just before closing, but we make sure they get air time and we follow up on the details. We've had a few guests who were very perceptive and helpful (one woman who could see our "forest" on a day when we were focussed on a single leaf of a tree stands out in my mind, 2-1/2 years later), even if they never returned. Gretchen Westlight Cascadia Commons Portland, Oregon, USA Where work is getting done, even if construction hasn't officially started yet. :-) And the existing duplexes look so much *nicer* without the carports! On Tue, 22 Feb 2000, Kay Argyle wrote: > Our group had a particularly tense meeting during the building phase, on a > proposal that turned out to be a lot more controversial than anticipated > (we've had some awful meetings, but that would make my top-ten worst list). > It was the first meeting for a young couple investigating cohousing. > Afterwards I ruefully said, "Well, _they_ won't be back, not after _that_ > meeting." We were totally floored when they showed up at the next meeting. > Months later I told the woman (now a valued neighbor) about our > astonishment, and she told me that they had been very impressed by the way > the group handled the differences of opinion and strong emotions at that > meeting. It had reassured them, not scared them away. > > Kay Argyle > Wasatch Commons
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.