Speaking out
From: Lydia & Ray Ducharme (ducharm1cadvision.com)
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2000 19:21:52 -0700 (MST)
In our cohousing group I've spoken out more than once when I felt I was the
lone dissenter with an unpopular opinion.  Although I was very uncomfortable
I had to take a stand.

It's made me closer to the group for speaking openly and risking conflict,
not less.  I would have quit a long time ago if I couldn't trust the others
to listen.

Lydia Ducharme
WholeLife Housing
Calgary, Canada

> I began thinking about what the impact of wanting to
> please everybody would have on a prospective member. Dare I disagree with
> the power elite (core group) Dare I bring up this point, for fear it may
> cause others to disagree with me and endanger my membership? If the
> for picking members is, They get along with others, do I dare disagree?
> Maybe what such things do is weed out non self-effacing individuals? Free
> Disagreement with the status group, with no social consequences, is a
> point of a good collaborative process. In a healthy group, If I have a new
> idea, I feel free to speak it, without fear of alienation or social
> retribution. I know my idea will be fairly and equally examined just like
> all the others.
> Would having my membership on the line cause me to speak out, or would I
> along with the status group? Hmmmm. This is a subtle and interesting group
> dynamic issue perhaps. Or perhaps not.
> Rob Sandelin
> Northwest Intentional Communities Association
> Building a better society, one neighborhood at a time

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