Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?
From: Howard Landman (howardpolyamory.org)
Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 23:23:01 -0700 (MST)
Racheli wrote:
> I guess it's very easy to see children as a form of
> pests if one doesn't enjoy them.  I'm definitly in favor
> of people who are hostile to children to go live
> in their own ghettoized society/village/cohousing, whatever. 

It's stereotyping to imply that anyone who would prefer to live without
something is hostile to that thing.  Hostility implies an anger and
active ill will that simply may not exist at all.  It would make
about as much sense to say that all gay men must be hostile to women.

I see this as an issues of life stages.  When I was 20 I did not want
to be living with a bunch of minors.  When I became a parent - which
I definitely WANTED - I was in a different mental space completely.
Even so, it's clear that having children around imposes a significant
burden on adults in terms of care, of priorities, of an inability to have
anything nice in the house without it getting trashed, etc.  I accepted
these willingly but that doesn't mean they're not still burdens.  I can
understand why some people might not want to shoulder them.

When I am older, I think I'll probably want a quieter, more meditative
lifestyle.  One where I get to think about art and science and
spirituality a bit more and diapers and diarrhea a bit less.  From a
poem of mine ("Any Father To Any Daughter"):

        ... In a hut

        I'll someday dwell, a hermit's cottage
        on my own, alone.  But lonely?
        I don't think so.  Even dotage
        has its spartan virtues ...

I don't see how this implies any hostility whatsoever.  I like children,
but someday I probably will prefer to not spend most of my waking hours
dealing with them.  Been there, done that.  Whether cohousing will still
make sense for me then, I can't say.

        Howard A. Landman
        River Rock Commons
        Fort Collins CO
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