Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com)
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 08:02:01 -0700 (MST)

Roger's post on children was an excellent analysis of what happens with kids in groups like cohousing.

I would add there there is tremendous ambivalence in parents as to when they want others to be in charge of their kids and when they consider it trespassing. On one hand they join cohousing because they want help raising and entertaining their children but on the other they want it clear that these are "their" children. Many want the community to be child centered so their children are always welcome everywhere and they are relieved of child care. But then they want to control of everything that happens to their child. This makes other adults not co-parents but child care volunteers, often unwillingly, and often just to save their sanity. It's a very hard balance and one that needs constant adjustment as the children grow and change from day to day.

While some adults think they are being accepting of children to have them at all meals and to make all meal environments comfortable for children, the parents want "active" acceptance -- like entertainment. The eternal birthday party.

Raising kids is hard. It takes constant work. As many problems as cohousing solves, it also creates. While I can't imagine cohousing without children or children without cohousing, cohousing doesn't make parenting any less labor intensive. The enrichment of cohousing doesn't lessen the work.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org

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