Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Should individual "sponsorship" be allowed of community

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

> I understand what you are saying, but I guess what I don't understand is:
> The things in your hypothetical story:
> 
>> What I would object to is that other projects would be left undone. If, for
>> instance, everyone also wanted an arbor for shade, but there was nobody
>> willing to pay for it out of pocket, and the three poorest families really
>> wanted it, it would still not get done. Those three families did not get
>> what was really important to them, because the group never prioritized it,
>> and they don't have the resources to gift it to the community.
> 
> What I don't understand is that if nobody donated things, the poorer people
> still wouldn't get their arbor.

Why not? If people put their money into the general fund as a gift, the
arbor might actually get built, if it were higher on the priorities list.

>So what's the difference?  Either way they
> don't get the arbor, but at least they get a hot tub.

Something for which I'm sure they would be grateful. But as the French will
tell you, nobody wants to be grateful forever. Making decisions about what
is important for the group to have builds community. Making decisions based
on who can afford to pay builds resentment.

>Something is better
> than nothing, but I guess the neighbors who were going to gift the hot tub
> could just put it in their backyard instead, thereby making everybody
> beholden to them every time they came over to "borrow" it.  We have gifting
> all the time in my community, which is more closely knit than cohousing per
> se, and everybody recognises that a gift is a gesture, it doesn't give
> anybody more power or less compassion, we all understand that I might be
> afford to buy the big screen TV, but I sure don't have time to mow the lawn
> an extra time.  My gift is no more valuable just becasue some corporation
> has attached a price tag, than the gift of another member of homemade dolls
> for the children, who spent 20 hours working on her beautiful creation.
> (which, BTW, were immensely popular for a while with some members, but
> others enjoyed more the TV)
> In my mind the giving of a gift shows caring and love for the receivers, and
> the acceptance of said gift both honors and responds with love to the
> givers.

Gosh, I can hardly argue against something so incredibly warm and fuzzy, now
can I? This certainly is a different tactic, however I find myself not
distracted by it. I have not been talking about homemade dolls (although
accepting a big screen TV would certainly be something my community would
talk about beforehand, and has), and I've taken pains to state that at least
twice.

-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] comcast.net

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