RE: Cohousing-L digest, Vol 1 #1054 - 9 msgs
From: TR Ruddick (truddickearthlink.net)
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 20:57:17 -0600 (MDT)
> Message: 8
> From: "Jeanne Goodman" <GoodmanJ [at] jpcohousing.org>
> 
> Jeanne> Perhaps Jews feel it more necessary to remind people that we
exist,
> Racheli> Wow, it sounds like you have a serious chip on your shoulder:
> 
> I don't think so. I just don't like it when I feel forgotten or ignored. I
> don't think that's a chip. I don't think most people do.

For what it's worth, the original statement bothered me also.  It "sounded"
like you had a serious chip on your shoulder to Racheli and me.  It's a
matter of perspective.

After the topic came up, I was trying to come up with an idea about why
Jewish holidays were different from those of other religions', which might
have led to some understanding of the individual needs involved.  Having
taught world religions, I'm not entirely out of touch with a range of
beliefs.

However, "remind people that we exist" and "I feel forgotten and ignored"
is not IMO a valid reason for having one person's religious choices play a
role in everyone else's schedule.  

Especially not coming from a religion which, after all, has enjoyed
widespread acceptance in the USA compared to most others (and if you wish
to dispute the validity of that conclusion, show me the latest Pagan or
Muslim vice-presidential candidate).  If we're not careful, this discussion
will descend into "which faith needs attention the most."

That's not to dispute your real personal needs here, but to convey the tone
that your message carried.  I understand it was unintentional.

> 
> Racheli> I think that you must realize that if *everyone's* holidays were
> taken
> into account, the possibility of finding times to meet will be reduced to
> somewhere around zero
> 
> Again. I disagree. We're not talking about any holiday. It's the most
> important holiday.

In my view, that's a more reasonable statement.  There are different
expectations for holidays in different religions.  In my experience,
Muslims continue to work and follow normal routine during Ramadan as much
as they can, and they make generous allowances for those who can't (for
health or practical reasons) obey the expectations of fasting.  Pagans are
even more flexible, and frequently move their solstice/equinox/quarterday
celebrations to the nearest weekend.

I don't think you've thought your examples of sacrosanct days completely
through.  As noted, nobody schedules on Christmas (which, friends, is not a
Christian holy day as practiced, but one of our biggest secular
celebrations) or Easter (which is after all on a Sunday--which, thanks to
lingering Christian bias, is still the day when relatively few things get
scheduled).  Nothing gets scheduled on New Year's Day or Eve, or on
Thanksgiving, which are not specifically attached to any known faith in any
way (though Thanksgiving has strong Christian tones as it's practiced.) 
Nor on July 4.  Some of those days may once have carried a strong Christian
message, but only Easter retains it.

I was thinking that the devout Jews among us would be speaking up more
often because more of them are faithful to ancient tradition that demands
extensive ritual on their holiest of days.  I would accept that as a good
reason for special consideration in scheduling--but I would hold the
believer responsible for communicating personal needs in those cases.

In other words, yes, let's accomodate reasonable needs for religious
holidays.  No, let's not all be responsible for understanding every known
faith in the world and understanding without being told which days are most
holy.

TR Ruddick
Dayton Cohousing




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