Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC
From: Racheli Gai (rachelisonoracohousing.com)
Date: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 17:13:07 -0600 (MDT)
Raines wrote:

>Perhaps this is a good opportunity to model in NVC what (if anything) you
> do when you believe that the observation was in error or doesn't reflect
> reality (i.e. it came out that neither event in question actually did 
>conflict with the holiday) ... do you continue to process the observation
> and the reactions to it because the reactions are genuine and what's 
>important regardless of whether the underlying situation is actually an 
>issue... or do you go back to the first-to-react and let them know that 
>they don't need to worry, the perception was in error so the underlying 
>problem doesn't exist?

I think that the discussion kept going because the initial reaction by
some of the participants triggered response from others, and so on.  At
that point it wasn't about any event in particular, but about the basic
issue.  (I agree with the implied wish that those who complained
acknowledged their mistake).


>Also, a note on this particular discussion, echoing something I've seen 
>on Coho-L before... we start by talking about an event ABOUT cohousing 
>for people not necessarily in a community... and people respond as though
> it were an event IN the community FOR people in the community, which is 
>an entirely different kettle of fish (although certainly sharing some 
>principles in common).

Yes, that struck me as peculiar too.  I do think that scheduling within
the community is very different from scheduling an event for the public at
large.

While we are on the subject of religious affiliations, it occurred to me
at some point during the exchange that for some people the
religious affiliation seemed to be such an important part of their
identity: Perhaps that's why they saw the recognition/acknowledgment of it
as a  top priority.
For me (perhaps because I didn't grow up in this country?) religious 
affiliation is something to be taken into account, but on various 
occassions other considerations may over-ride it.  (Religious is probably
not the exact word I'm looking for, since I'm thoroughly secular).

Anyway, maybe it's subtle/unspoken underlying values such as this which
cause strife, because the ones who see the affiliation as all-important
expect it to be that way for all, when this isn't the case.

(I'm not sure I've articulated this very well).

R.



-----------------------------------------------------------
racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com (Racheli Gai)
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