RE: Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Emily (epittearthlink.net) | |
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2003 18:42:07 -0600 (MDT) |
Raines wrote: >Perhaps this is a good opportunity to model in NVC what (if anything) you do when you believe that the observation was in error or doesn't reflect reality (i.e. it came out that neither event in question actually did conflict with the holiday) ... do you continue to process the observation and the reactions to it because the reactions are genuine and what's important regardless of whether the underlying situation is actually an issue... or do you go back to the first-to-react and let them know that they don't need to worry, the perception was in error so the underlying problem doesn't exist?> I think this is a good point. I don't actually know much about the NVC model that I've seen discussed on this list. But in the example of this discussion, it seemed that although the initial perception was indeed in error, it clearly brought to the surface an underlying issue that was of concern to many folks (myself of course included). It became clear during this discussion that the issue at hand was no longer the one that was brought up to begin with (given that someone pointed out that the event originally described was not actually in conflict with Yom Kippur). However, I would say that the discussion itself still merits consideration. Perhaps the participants of the discussion, and I'm primarily referring to myself here, should have clearly stated that the topic had shifted. If this were a "realtime" community, rather than a listserv, I would say that I feel it is absolutely imperative to discuss the underlying issues, once they are identified. I don't know how that applies here, in a virtual community (and am interested to know what others think about that), but in my experience, when underlying issues surface in a community, they need to be called out and dealt with, or they will simply keep resurfacing, and not always constructively. In having this discussion, I should also acknowledge that the thread here is very personal to me, and reflects the issues that I deal with over and over, and particularly this time of year and again in December. For me, Judaism is my cultural identity. If a conflict arose around an event that got scheduled on the most important holiday of my culture, and the organizers refused to acknowledge it when I brought it to their attention, I would feel angry, hurt, and isolated. The reasons are complex and difficult to convey through this medium. However, I also know other people who share my background who don't feel the same level of frustration around this issue as I feel. Obviously, there are many different ways of experiencing this type of scenario. But in re-reading my last email, it sounds somewhat heavy-handed, and I feel I should acknowledge that to the list, since it was not my intention. Raines also wrote: >A secondary question is modeling for online discussion via this primitive tool known as an e-mail list> I've thought about this a lot too. Personally, I feel that email is a challenging way to have important discussions. It is very difficult to convey tone, and things that are simply meant to be emphatically stated will often come off as angry, etc. It is too easy to misconstrue meaning. However, I also think that a listserv is a valuable tool for having discussions on a global level and allowing many people access to a discussion. So to me, this underscores the question of how to have constructive discussion using this medium. Emily Pitt Boston _______________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org Unsubscribe and other info: http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L
-
Re: Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC Becky Schaller, September 27 2003
-
Re: Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC Raines Cohen, September 27 2003
- Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC Racheli Gai, September 27 2003
- RE: Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC Emily, September 28 2003
-
Re: Religious Practices in Cohousing/NVC Raines Cohen, September 27 2003
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.