Cohousing-L Mailing List: Handling conflict

[Anna Fallon (AnnaFallon]

Hi,  I am a member of Manzanita Village, a cohousing community in Arizona.  We 
are a growing community with about one-half of our members on-site.  Lots are 
still being sold and homes are still being built.  We are in the process of 
building a permanent common house.  So far our structure of committees worked 
pretty well. However, the stress and financial commitment involved in building 
of the common house has caused some real differences of opinion among 
residents.  Many of the members find conflict difficult and shy away from any 
argument.  We find consensus difficult to achieve.  We are beginning to search 
for ways to build our members confidence in conflict.  A group of us thinks 
that 'developing' conflict is the only way to really get at what people need 
and want from community life.  We would like for people to be more comfortable 
with each other when there is disagreement.  Now when there is a somewhat 
emotional meeting---some members are devastated or horrified....  We were 
thinking that this must have happened in other communities.  Can you give us 
any ideas on how to work with this issue?  I would appreciate any thoughts or 
more---structured outlines, agenda from meetings---any advice.  Thanks, Anna 
Fallon
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