Cohousing-L Mailing List: Meeting attendance and proxies

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

In a collaborative process you have to decide how much to outreach to people
who are not present. Many communities use a buddy system, people who are not
present at a meeting hear about the details of the meeting from their buddy.
This system of course then filters the meeting through other peoples
perspectives but it does add a human connection which for community building
is a good thing. Sometimes this human element will bring someone back into
the meeting structure. Especially if you just report, no guilt trips.

Some groups have a very up front check out process, where a person clearly
indicates in some way, that they will NOT be participating in this decision,
they give way to the group. As part of this process those who check out are
discouraged from criticizing. This is reasonable and fair.

A proxy can be done two ways. One way is an absentee vote, another way is
where one participant gives their decision making power to another. In the
latter, if I can not attend the meeting, I spend time with another person,
make sure they understand my input and ideas, then empower them to represent
those ideas for me at the meeting. Again, this adds a human element to the
process, which I think is better than reading a note or letter, which of
course is another way to represent yourself at a meeting you can not attend.

If large numbers of people in your community do not attend meetings
consistently it is my advice to find out why. There may be nothing that will
change in the situation but at least you will know. I visited a community
once who required a written notice from anyone not attending a community
meeting. They were cute, sad, angry and all were read for everyone to hear.

One of the foundational experiences I had once was attending a meeting of
the Gesuntite foundation (Not sure how to spell that word).  When I arrived
people were making paper puppets, simple things, although some folks had got
there early to make more elaborate ones. During the meeting, for which some
heavy stuff came up, people talked with, through, and acting out with their
puppets. It was silly, warm, humorous, intense and enormously fun. At the
end of the 4 hour meeting I was astonished to read on the chalkboard how
many things had been decided by the "puppet government".  I walked away
realizing the power of creative fun and have been preaching that ever since.

IF YOU MAKE MEETINGS FUN, PEOPLE WILL COME. If meetings leave you with a
stomach ache, people will stay away. If 80% of your membership comes to
parties, but only 40% comes to meetings, then make your meetings into
parties.

Rob Sandelin
South Snohomish County at the headwaters of Ricci Creek
Sky Valley Environments  <http://www.nonprofitpages.com/nica/SVE.htm>
Field skills training for student naturalists
Floriferous [at] msn.com

http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L

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