Re: Values in community, was sexuality
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com)
Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 06:50:53 -0800 (PST)
as people exercising a difference in values? At what point do we tolerate bias and misunderstanding in our communities in the name of a diference in values, and at what point do we overtly ask people to accept the diversity of our communities, and help them learn to do so? I'm just wondering where this line is for folks.

I think this is a really interesting question. One of the places where it becomes obvious is with children. Adults learn to hide their biases and to work around them but when they then have children who are not allowed to do things other children do or play in the houses of other children because of who their parents are or because a television might be on, it becomes much more obvious and much more of a community issue -- at least for those who interact with children.

I think the best description is "what works". In the process of interacting and being forced to get along on a day to day basis, things work out. People with strong and irrational biases are not likely to move into cohousing -- or at least not into free-form cohousing. Perhaps they might stumble into a Christian cohousing community, but not one that advertises diversity.

Groups develop a range of tolerance and people change. Lifestyles vary widely and I still have huge problems with the gaudy orange and black plastic table cloth a neighbor puts out where everyone has to look at it 24/7 and the piles of cardboard boxes and trash some people store outside their doors. So intolerance comes in all forms and the best a group can do is develop norms that most everyone in that individual group can live with. Then some people will go off and start a new community. That's how we became American if I remember my history right.

Sharon
-----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org


Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.