Use of email | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Rod Lambert (rodecovillage.ithaca.ny.us) | |
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2014 07:46:00 -0800 (PST) |
I think a significant chunk of this discussion can be clarified by looking at the following quotes from Diana's and then Jim's email: Diane: "But we DO also use it [email] to discuss ISSUES, and yes, sometimes it can get > pretty heated. Only very occasionally does it spiral into overt flaming or > hostility, but even civil discussions can leave people with hurt or angry > feelings. But then, that's true of in-person meetings as well. I've left > plenty of in-person meetings feeling unheard, misunderstood, resentful, > etc." Jim: >>Unfortunately, it's hard to read body language in an email >>thread! For example, suppose you and I were talking face to face... Jim is talking about solving a "issue" between 2 people and Diane (and I) are talking about discussing "ISSUES" by the whole neighborhood. Expecting to do all the work at a business meeting for some issues is expecting a lot (we meet only once a month here at EcoVillage at Ithaca). Rod Lambert (with apologies for trying to speak for Diane) >>>>>>>> Date: Sun, 9 Feb 2014 22:54:23 -0500 From: Jim Mayer <jim [at] pentastich.org> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Use of email To: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> Message-ID: <CAGYWHRNTT-Gev50ykOdwoX5dOsMkTVHTmCPXHr40QHN8iSjGtg [at] mail.gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 I'm not in a co-housing group, but I've been using email for over thirty years. In my experience, email is most useful when people treat it as if they are writing a physical letter. It's tempting, though, because email feels so interactive, to treat email correspondence as if it was a verbal conversation. Unfortunately, it's hard to read body language in an email thread! For example, suppose you and I were talking face to face. I turn to you and say, smiling, with an open body posture: "I can't believe you said that!". Now, suppose I said exactly the same words but with an angry scowl and my arms tightly crossed. The meanings are completely different! Continuing the same example, suppose I said "I can't believe you said that!", and then noticed that you froze and looked hurt. If I'd been admiring your chutzpah, I'd know my meaning hadn't gotten across and would say something right away. With email, though, the message I blearily typed at 2:00 am might not be read for hours, and it could be the next evening before I checked my email again. A lot of interpersonal damage can happen in a day! Group emails can get even messier. You and I may have known each other for years, and that context can promote understanding, but John Doe, who moved in last week, doesn't know me at all. It's the difference between a public letter and a private one. It sounds to me like the self-moderation and informal guidelines that Diana mentioned are working about as well as they could. I've never seen it done "perfectly". Actually, I wonder if the "difference in philosophy" Diana mentioned might have to do with differences in learning style as much as anything else. I find it helpful to write my thoughts down, and I appreciate it when other's do the same. I've known very smart people, though, who have a much more interactive learning style. For them, communication is a contact sport! Thanks for the interesting topic! Jim Mayer Rochester, NY
- Re: Use of email, (continued)
- Re: Use of email Don Benson, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email Ann Zabaldo, February 10 2014
-
Use of email Rod Lambert, February 9 2014
- Re: Use of email Jim Mayer, February 9 2014
- Use of email Rod Lambert, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email Malcolm Eva, February 11 2014
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Re: Use of email Jim Mayer, February 11 2014
- Re: Use of email Sharon Villines, February 12 2014
- Re: Use of email Jim Mayer, February 12 2014
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