Re: divorce in cohousing
From: Ann Zabaldo (
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2014 06:53:39 -0800 (PST)
Hello Doug —

Can you talk a little more about what is happening in your community that gave 
rise to this proposal?  My experience is that proposals don’t arise in a vacuum.

Have you experienced or are you experiencing a particularly  difficult or 
“nasty” divorce in your community?

Fleshing this out a little more for those of us on this list will help us 
understand the situation(s) you are facing in your community.  And help us 
respond with more refined and targeted comments.


Best --

Ann Zabaldo
Takoma Village Cohousing
Washington, DC
Principal, Cohousing Collaborative, LLC
Falls Church VA

On Feb 10, 2014, at 9:06 PM, Doug Huston <huston [at]> wrote:

> At times I’ve read on this list serve how stressful break-ups/divorces have 
> been on communities. 
> In our community, we are considering the following proposal: 
> When a couple breaks up, the person who moves out of the community is 
> automatically no longer a member of the community. 
> This means he/she cannot be an off-site member, a category which exist for 
> some communities.
> This would be the default situation. Exceptions could be considered. If after 
> one year the member who moved out wants to re-join, the group could choose to 
> consider this - or not.
> The intention behind this is to insulate the community (to some extent) from 
> the common challenges, stress, and tensions which usually accompany 
> break-ups, and would likely be heightened if both parties remain formally 
> involved in community activities. 
> We are wondering what others in communities think, and if there are similar 
> or related policies regarding break-ups elsewhere in cohousing. 
> Thanks for your comments in advance.
> Doug Huston - Ashland (Oregon) Cohousing Community 
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