Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com) | |
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2014 08:13:14 -0800 (PST) |
On Feb 12, 2014, at 9:28 AM, Joanie Connors <jvcphd [at] gmail.com> wrote: > You can't prevent conflict, but with good policies and practices, you can > make it growthful so that your community grows stronger. I like "growthful". One problem in resolving conflicts is having someone who can facilitate this process. A community is as strong as its resources, in cohousing, its people resources. This can be an intensive job if the community has not developed common assumptions about approaching conflict. Another poster asked if we have a conflict resolution policy at Takoma Village. No we don't and it's a problem. We have many members who are conflict averse they build. We have not had huge clashes like some communities that rendered them seriously divided. We do have several people who take personal initiative to do conflict resolution on a case by case basis. Ann Zabaldo is one of them and she is very good at it. But there is no expectation, however, that any of them are responsible for conflict resolution. Repeating previous discussions: 1. Expecting those involved in the conflict to work it out themselves is usually unworkable. "If they coulda, they woulda." 2. Conflicts are more likely to be the result of unclear community expectations, not personal actions. One or more of the people that others perceive as being in conflict may not perceive themselves in that way at all. The conflict arises because others disagree with the actions of others. 3. The best conflict resolution process I have seen work is the formation of a conflict resolution team for each conflict. The parties who identify a conflict choose one member to represent them. Those chosen then choose one person whom they find would be helpful to them. That means there will be at least 3 people on the team, which each have chosen a person to express their needs/opinions/clarifications. The conflict resolution team decides how to respond. Rules about face-to-face, binding mediation, the NVC process, etc. are usually not applicable to all situations. It's better for the team to address each conflict as appropriate and to consult other experts or people who might help as appropriate. Anyone can initiate this process. Sharon ---- Sharon Villines Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC http://www.takomavillage.org
- Re: divorce in cohousing, (continued)
- Re: divorce in cohousing Doug Huston, February 11 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Catya Belfer, February 11 2014
-
Re: divorce in cohousing Diana Carroll, February 10 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Joanie Connors, February 12 2014
- Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing Sharon Villines, February 12 2014
- Re: Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing Joanie Connors, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Lyle Scheer, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Rick Gravrok, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Diana Carroll, February 13 2014
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