Re: Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Joanie Connors (jvcphdgmail.com) | |
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2014 08:17:49 -0800 (PST) |
Yes! Thank you, Sharon! A community that is not talking about conflicts is a community that is shut down! On Wed, Feb 12, 2014 at 9:13 AM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>wrote: > > > On Feb 12, 2014, at 9:28 AM, Joanie Connors <jvcphd [at] gmail.com> wrote: > > > You can't prevent conflict, but with good policies and practices, you can > > make it growthful so that your community grows stronger. > > I like "growthful". One problem in resolving conflicts is having someone > who can facilitate this process. A community is as strong as its resources, > in cohousing, its people resources. This can be an intensive job if the > community has not developed common assumptions about approaching conflict. > > Another poster asked if we have a conflict resolution policy at Takoma > Village. No we don't and it's a problem. We have many members who are > conflict averse they build. We have not had huge clashes like some > communities that rendered them seriously divided. We do have several people > who take personal initiative to do conflict resolution on a case by case > basis. Ann Zabaldo is one of them and she is very good at it. But there is > no expectation, however, that any of them are responsible for conflict > resolution. > > Repeating previous discussions: > > 1. Expecting those involved in the conflict to work it out themselves is > usually unworkable. "If they coulda, they woulda." > > 2. Conflicts are more likely to be the result of unclear community > expectations, not personal actions. One or more of the people that others > perceive as being in conflict may not perceive themselves in that way at > all. The conflict arises because others disagree with the actions of others. > > 3. The best conflict resolution process I have seen work is the formation > of a conflict resolution team for each conflict. The parties who identify a > conflict choose one member to represent them. Those chosen then choose one > person whom they find would be helpful to them. That means there will be at > least 3 people on the team, which each have chosen a person to express > their needs/opinions/clarifications. The conflict resolution team decides > how to respond. > > Rules about face-to-face, binding mediation, the NVC process, etc. are > usually not applicable to all situations. It's better for the team to > address each conflict as appropriate and to consult other experts or people > who might help as appropriate. > > Anyone can initiate this process. > > Sharon > ---- > Sharon Villines > Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC > http://www.takomavillage.org > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: > http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/ > > >
- Re: divorce in cohousing, (continued)
- Re: divorce in cohousing Catya Belfer, February 11 2014
-
Re: divorce in cohousing Diana Carroll, February 10 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Joanie Connors, February 12 2014
- Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing Sharon Villines, February 12 2014
- Re: Conflict Resolution [was: divorce in cohousing Joanie Connors, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Lyle Scheer, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Rick Gravrok, February 12 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Diana Carroll, February 13 2014
- Re: divorce in cohousing Sharon Villines, February 13 2014
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