Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Aging in Place

[Marvin Berkowitz (marvinb780]

 Hi all,I am reaching out to you as I am new to thinking about co-housing and 
got on a mailing list.  You would be a great help in directing me to the right 
people, if they are not you.  Thanks in advance.
I am a retired psychotherapist, 83.  I now live in San Francisco.  I am in 
pretty good health and totally independent.  I am now without a partner, I am 
missing connection. I like to shop and cook and manage my home pretty well.  I 
now lead a weekly support group for seniors, which might be useful as a 
facilitator.  I like to dance and could teach others. I like to help others. I 
do not have assets for a large buy-in to a one-bedroom unit.
How would I go about finding a co-housing community that might be right for me 
as I age and have additional needs?  Are there settings beyond retirement 
communities for me?Marvin Berkowitz415-260-9616    On Sunday, April 3, 2022, 
07:32:33 AM PDT, Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
cohousing.org> wrote:  
 
 > On Apr 3, 2022, at 9:14 AM, Ed Sutton via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
 > cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> Sharon, please don’t change the question.
> 
> I’ll repeat: Again I?m asking how those in the over 65 age group in 
> multigenerational communities are working together to
> assist aging in place in communities which were not originally designed with 
> aging members in mind?

I don’t  mean to change the question but to deepen it. This discussion is 
similar to the one about accessibility and whether residents who need an 
electric opener on the front door should pay for it or treat it as a community 
expense. A deeper discussion brings to light the fact that everyone benefits 
from an automatically opening door at some point for various reasons. 
Caregivers of infants and young children are particularly happy users. As are 3 
year olds. Broken ankles, damaged knees, a missing arm — none of these are 
anymore typical of elders than youngers. A person studying for the bar exams 
needs a quiet place to study and for someone to take over their CH 
responsibilities.

That’s why architectural and design schools changed the discussion of 
handicapped accessibility to “universal design.” 

Discussions that attribute certain characteristics to people based on age are 
rarely productive because they are so non-specific. 

This is my 80th year of life and 22nd year of living in cohousing. I can’t 
think of anything that I do for people or they do for me that is different than 
they ever did. Or anything that is done for or by people over 65 that is not 
done for and by those under 65. I would actually be guessing to identify those 
over 65.

While I often sympathize with those who want a seniors only communities — less 
noise, less complex, a narrower range of issues — I worry about the demographic 
of 50-70 year olds leaving communities in which the 30-50 year olds need an 
incredible amount of support because they are so stressed with pressures of 
their dependents and professional aspirations.

Like discussions about gender, once you begin to avoid gender specific 
pronouns, you find they are rarely even relevant. It doesn’t really matter 
whether the person who fell out of the 4th floor window was a he, she, or them. 
(Although my tongue still has problems referring in speech to a particular 
named person as they. It brings up a vision of two heads.)

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org




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