Cohousing-L Mailing List: "Base Model" Cohousing - Hold the Options, Please

[Dan Suchman (71756.2661]

Thank you Stuart, Zev, Rob, David M. (and others) for stirring me to write about
the issues of spirituality and ideologies in cohousing.  I find merit in the
points of view expressed by each of you.

While researching the purchase of a new car, I had a frustrating experience that
I think provides a good metaphor for the infusion of cohousing with various
ideologies:  All I really wanted was a "base model" car, with one or two
optional upgrades.  Unfortunately, the manufacturer of this particular car did
not provide "a la carte" selections.  Instead, options were "packaged" with
several other expensive options, most of which I did not need or want to pay
for.   If I really wanted the car, I would be forced to "bite the bullet" and
buy a lot of extraneous and expensive stuff which experience had taught me I did
not need, and some of which was likely to break down and actually result in less
convenience and reliability.

So it seems to be for cohousing.  As I see it, the "base model" has only a few
essential elements:  dwellings which face (or at least open onto) a pedestrian
commons, a common house which forms a social hub and at which optional common
meals are served, and an intention of the part of residents to share some
resources and to know and interact with one another in a cooperative way.  The
"options" are myriad, and seem to be bundled in certain groups (with frequent
overlap between groups), including the "residents as developers" group,  the
"spiritual" group, the "green/environmental" group, the "feelings/process" group
and many more.  Like Stuart, I suspect that some of my impatience with and
annoyance at these "options" has to do with my own upbringing and experiences.
However, I believe that a significant portion of my opposition to loading up
cohousing with such ideologies is that many of these options seem to have become
"standard equipment".  While ideological adherents may see no problem with this
fact, I believe that a significant portion of society is being steered away from
cohousing because cohousing has been made (by adopting certain assumptions) so
difficult to create and has taken on such an "alternative" or "New Age" kind of
face. 

I am personally committed to having cohousing become a mainstream housing
alternative,  rather than "alternative housing", in the U.S.  I believe strongly
that cohousing can help reverse some of the disturbing post-World War II trends
in American housing and culture.  However, in order to do so, I believe that
cohousers must become less attached to some of the non-essential dogmas that
have become the standard.  I wish to state clearly that I believe spiritual
pursuits, environmental consciousness, and sensitivity to feelings/ process are
all admirable and valuable goals.  However, I suggest that these are matters
best left to individual choice and spread by individual modeling of the
benefits.  Requiring (expressly or impliedly) that cohousers pass an ideological
litmus test imposed by the group is a formula for parochialism -- the opposite
of what I believe most cohousers intend.

I'm sure that it will occur to some readers that eschewing one set of values
necessarily means adopting another.  True enough.  I suggest that until
cohousing itself becomes "mainstream", that aspiring cohousers stick to tried
and proven mainstream models, which include (gulp!) democratic process (rather
than the poorly understood and applied "consensus" model), delegation of
decision making (this is NOT the same as hierarchy -- and I don't believe that
there is anything inherently wrong with hierarchy), separation of Church and
State (keep even poly-religious spiritual ceremonies out of group government and
group sponsored activities) and others.  Once cohousing becomes more widely
accepted and available as a housing option, let the specialization begin!

Dan Suchman
Winslow Cohousing
Bainbridge Island, WA
[My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of all of my beloved cohousing
neighbors]