Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: poly vs gay, poly & coho

[Deb Smyre (dsmyre]

At 03:54 PM 10/25/1999 -0500, Howard Landman wrote:
>
>I differentiate feelings from actions.  Most people can't, generally,
>controls their feelings.  Especially, most people can't control what they
>like or find beautiful or find sexually attractive.  And no amount of
>arguing will change those either - "De gustibus non disputandum est".
>
>But a human being should be expected to have some control over their
>actions.  This is where real choice comes in.

        I agree, feelings are separate from actions.

>If we look at feelings (what Deb calls "being"), neither gays nor polys
>typically have much choice about *feeling* gay or poly.  

        No, "being" is not the same thing as "feelings".

        What I mean by "being" is something that's hard-wired
        to our physical circuits, is inescapable and over which
        we have no choice.  Race fits here.  So does a disability.
        Polyamory does not fit here, in my opinion.

        Deb