Cohousing-L Mailing List: Teens

[DCS (cdm]

We have only 22 houses, but 19 children under ten. I am very interested
in what's happening in other neighborhoods with their teens because one
day it will be a huge deal for us. I am all hot to build a swimming
pool, my thinking being that at least in the summer (when the kids are
home from school all day long) they will have at least one constructive
activity available to them on site. I also hope that in the future, we
will make our CH available to extracurricular groups to meet here, and
perhaps being able to have our kids involved with things without having
to drive them around. (For example, an aerobics class, or a mentoring
group, or a tutoring group.)

I was particularly interested in Maryann Jones's description of the teen
room that was turned back into a general use room. I believe it's
important to teens to have their own space, and it will be with a great
deal of cringing that we turn over our teen room to the teens for them
to do with what they will (as long as it doesn't violate health codes!)
If they want to paint it all black and light it with green and red
bulbs, doesn't seem like it's much my business. And decorating it seems
like a good project for them - they have to raise the money for
furnishings, they have to decide together how to do the job, what to do,
and they have to resolve their own conflicts. At least in theory it
sounds like a good idea. I guess I'll see what it's really like in five
years when we are there.

For those of you with teens now, tell me how my following theory stacks
up against actual experience: teens will find something to do; they
won't stay bored for long (even if "something" is watching TV or talking
on the phone). The question is what kind of activities will they come up
with on their own? If you make it possible for them to choose
constructive activities (like providing space and equipment for
competition jump roping teams, neighborhood volunteering projects,
saturday night teen parties open to anybody the teens want to invite, or
study halls) will they choose these kind of things, or will they prefer
to hang out in the Kroger parking lot on Friday nights (like I did as a
teen) or avoid any activity that their parents had a hand in making
happen? Can you generalize about teenagers that way, or is it entirely
dependent on the individual teens you have in your neighborhood?

Christine Della Maggiora
Eno Commons
Durham NC