Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Kids in Meetings

[Becky Weaver (becky_weaver]

We've had kids in our meetings from the beginning. We discussed
providing childcare, but the children were quite young, and the parents
preferred to tag-team parent instead. Even when we have a separate room
for the kids to play in, they usually prefer to be with everybody else.

The oldest child who attends our meetings is now nearly seven, and she
participates when she wants to. She brings up good points, follows our
rules, and generally fits in well. The only time she interrupts is if
it's her turn to speak and the facilitator skips her - then she politely
reminds us that she wants to speak. It's true that toddler play can be
noisier than some adults are used to, but in general I think it's been a
positive experience. We want children to belong in our community, and it
seems the best way to do that is to include them at their level of
interest and ability.

Probably once we have more children in our group, they will prefer to
play with one another rather than attend a boring grown-up meeting. But
if a child *wanted* to attend a meeting, I can't imagine we would
exclude him. I'm proud of how our group members interact in meetings,
and as Patty noted, children can learn a lot from being involved. And we
can learn from them, too. Even if a person is only seven years old, she
can be perceptive, intelligent, and worth listening to. I've been
grateful for the kid perspective in our meetings. I'm not sure we can
build a child-friendly community without it. 

I would think that keeping language and behavior G-rated is conducive to
thoughtful and respectful interaction, whether or not children are
present. Having an extra reminder to think before speaking may not be a
bad thing.  

Becky Weaver
Central Austin Cohousing (looking for land)
Austin, Texas
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