Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Kids and decision making...

[Racheli&John (jnpalme]

** Reply to note from pattymara [at] juno.com Mon, 4 Feb 2002 07:43:30 -0800

>From Racheli

   
Maggi Rohde wrote:

> > I think life would be so much easier if we were taught group 
> > facilitation
> > and conflict resolution as teenagers.  =)

And Pattimara added:  
> Dear List,
> Because my daughter Lauren was 10 when we first started attending
> meetings with the Tierra Nueva core group, and age 18 when we finally
> moved into our cohousing home (Tierra Nueva, central CA coast), she was
> steeped in group facilitation information, as well as conflict
> resolution.  In addition, she was listened to, respected by the group and
> had a "thumb" (voting here uses a thumb up for approval, thumb sideways
> for "I have a question or concern", thumb down for block).  

I advocate giving children meaningful decision making power from
the moment they are born:  Newborns know when they
need to eat, and how much they need to be held and interacted with;
All children have an innate drive to learn (at least until such point that
coercion, neglect, etc. messes it up), and so forth.
I've tried to use consensus with my kids as much as I could manage,
even before I knew the word.  I truly believe it works.  (I was influenced
greatly by reading John Holt, and Alice Miller.  But I might not have been
able to hear what they were saying if it wasn't for my mother, who 
was exceptional in not trivializing her children's needs and wishes).

R.
 



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