Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: conflict resolution process

[Randa Johnson (Saranda]

Whatever the level of conflict, getting to the people involved to express their 
interests, rather than their positions is crucial to a mutually agreeable 
resolution.  It is much easier to come up with a good solution if one person is 
saying  " I need quiet from 8-4 in order to do my work " and the  other is 
saying  I need to practice my accordion 2 hours a day"  than if the former 
insists that so and so " has to get rid of their *%$ accordion" , and the 
latter that " It's a free country and I'll do whatever I want."   
By expressing what their interests in the situation are, the possibilities tend 
to open up, rather than focusing on a very narrow  and appositional set of 
positions that cannot be reconciled.

>>> Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com> 02/09 11:02 AM >>>
> Our community has no process for handling conflicts or grievances. We
> are in a spaghetti of a mess right now and need a process. I looked
> up conflict resolution in the archives, but kept running into
> messages that were no longer available. Could I please get processes
> from other groups or resources.

I don't know how big your spaghetti mess is but if it involves many people I
would recommend a trained (outside) facilitator.

If it involves two or three parties, a good process is that each of the
parties chooses a person to serve as their mediator. These mediators choose
another person that they are all comfortable with. This group sorts out the
issues and attempts to come up with a resolution that the disputing parties
are happy with.

I've used this in church groups (pastor and board), faculty review
processes, union negotiations, etc. It is a very simple process. Each person
has a mediator they trust who understands their issues. The introduction of
less face-to-face between the disputing parties calms the emotions of the
situation. And the presence of a person chosen by the mediators, adds
another level of objectivity and the mediators have someone to help them
with issues also.

Sharon
-- 
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org 


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