Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: thanking those who work

[Laura Fitch, A.I.A. (lfitch]

Cheryl A. Charis-Graves wrote:

> A final thought < my perception of what is happening in my community is that
> the ones who do a lot of work don't necessarily expect everyone to do the
> same as they do, but they do get tired and sometimes overburdened. The ones
> who aren't doing as much actual "work" seem to have the most difficulty with
> guilt/resentment, because they see others doing more and feel guilty or
> resent what they perceive to be unrealistic expectations for work. And we
> really don't seem to have those spontaneous, fun social things happening to
> balance it out.
Our community just threw a really terrrifc thank you dinner for the 
"Buildings and Grounds" committee. This is a group that typically does a 
lot of repair and hard labor type work - including plowing in the 
winter. They also did a huge drainage improvement project last summer. 
The party was FANCY - great food, wine, table clothes, candles, fancy 
desserts, theater (with much comic ribbing), appreciation speaches, 
gifts, etc. It was adults only and most of the adult community came!

I highly recommend occassional thank you dinners (or parties, or 
letters, or gifts). The folks that do this work get tired, but they do 
it for love of work and community. If they are recognized they will 
continue to feel good about it. If you feel guilty about not working 
enough, maybe you are the type of person that can organize a party, or 
give money towards a gift.

Another way we encourage folks who do not like to do physical labor 
during work party days, to help out is by suggesting that someone 
provide snacks, or lunch, or childcare. It usually happens if we ask! 
Neighbors have called us and offered to watch our kids so we could go to 
a movie, after they have seen my husband spend hours on a maintenance 
job. Encourage this - it goes a very long way!

--
Laura Fitch, A.I.A.
Principal Architect

KRAUS-FITCH ARCHITECTS, INC.
110 Pulpit Hill Rd.
Amherst, MA  01002
413-549-5799
413-549-7918 (fax)

lfitch [at] krausfitch.com




_______________________________________________
Cohousing-L mailing list
Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org  Unsubscribe  and other info:
http://www.communityforum.net/mailman/listinfo/cohousing-l