Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: inquiry about conflict resolution techniques

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

on 8/3/2002 7:25 PM, pattymara [at] juno.com at pattymara [at] juno.com wrote:

> The process involves coming from a heart connection, creating empathy,
> *first* before attempting to craft solutions.  Marshall asserts that this
> once a heart connection (like a giraffe's, which has the largest heart of
> the land mammals) is made, then true resolution can bubble up.    This
> man has brought this very simple process to prisons, warring tribes,
> international conflicts, with huge success.

In a book that I've forgotten the title of, a psychiatrist analyzes writer's
block and concludes that the primary cause is loss of connection with the
emotional reason for writing in the first place. Reducing all action to
emotional needs can be too simplistic but the foundations for actions are
often simple feelings. At base, it is a feeling that connects us to ideas.

> I am interested to see how we can bring it into our meetings.  So much of
> our time is spent crafting solutions to disagreements without paying
> attention to our hearts.

Rounds are very good ways to do this, but it seems to take groups some time
to learn how to do them meaningfully. "What's in your heart?" might be a
good way to start a round on a difficult issue.

Sharon
-- 
In Washington DC where all roads lead to Casablanca


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