Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Unsupervised Kids in the commonhouse

[PattyMara Gourley (pattymara]

At Tierra Nueva, on the central coast of California, we never lock the
common house.  We are in a somewhat rural/suburban area, with farmlands
on our border, as well as housing developments.   We are fortunate to
have a retired senior with  eagle eyes living in one of the houses next
to the common house.  She sees all and knows all who enter.  When
"strangers" are seen she intervenes appropriately.  Most of the time it
is a befuddled pizza delivery person.  Once though, we heard of a member
finding a naked person in the office. The story has grown into a
rural/suburban myth.  

Supervision of children under six is encouraged, and most parents follow
through.  Some don't.   We have 13 kids over six who use the game room
(ping pong and pool), the media room and the library.  Sometimes the
results of fort building and pillow fights remain after they leave, and
we usually can find the perps and make them clean up.  Most of the time
the use is respectful.  

We've also had our brushes with mild delinquency.  Friends of one of our
teens were caught playing darts in the game room, but not using the
target.  Rather, they darted the artwork and most of the walls.  The
response was an interesting commentary on our community life.  One of my
husband Bruce's photographs was darted.  When Bruce was notified about
the damage he talked with another artist in the community who encouraged
him to set a fair value to the work.  Bruce then spoke with the member
teen about compensation.  All the friends, and their parents were
included in the agreement, and payment was made over the course of
several months by the all boys.  They also did the work of spackling and
repainting the walls.   Bruce's relationship with the member teen, which
was minimal before the incident, was enhanced by the interaction (and
compensation).   The parents of the guest boys were given a gentle
education about our community and how we talk to one another and take
responsibility for actions.

In my mind, it serves us to encourage using the common house by all ages
(with appropriate supervision).   I am delighted to see our teens hanging
out doing homework (yes, to very loud music) in the dining room or
library.  Also tickled by the gangs of roving kids playing in the green,
decked out in bizarre combinations of clothing/accessories from the
costume trunk in the common house playroom.  

Patty Mara
Tierra Nueva
Oceano, CA



















mmm 

________________________________________________________________
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
Only $9.95 per month!
Visit www.juno.com
_______________________________________________
Cohousing-L mailing list
Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org  Unsubscribe  and other info:
http://www.communityforum.net/mailman/listinfo/cohousing-l