Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Individual versus group needs and wants

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Tuesday, February 11, 2003, at 05:02  PM, Gary Kent wrote:
> I love the theory and philosophy of consensus.  Everyone is heard, all
> opinions are respected etc., etc.,  However........
>
> How about a group member who sounds like a broken record - same thing 
> over
> and over again.  Things are complicated by the member not having a 
> terrific
> memory for facts, resorting to hyperbolic language and often being out 
> of
> the information loop  (not on e-mail) by choice.  I'm sure someone 
> will tell
> me that the reason this is continuing to happen must be because the 
> person
> obviously has not REALLY been heard, not listened to with respect etc.,

One thing I'm learning from sociocracy is that we go into consensus 
decisions without having done the groundwork for determining what an 
appropriate decision will be -- what is the goal to be met by the 
decision? What is the shared vision/mission/aim of the group? How do 
the objections address these?

Rounds are excellent ways to level the playing field when one person is 
filibustering, particularly when they are speaking without reading. 
Rounds break the deadlock and the tension. When one person hears 
everyone else in the room giving their perceptions and feelings, they 
usually realize that others have similar concerns but have one way or 
another worked through them.

And some times people are just in the wrong group. Having clear 
vision/mission/aims statements can make this clear from the beginning.

Sharon
-----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org

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