Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Re: child care at meetings/intergenerational understanding

[Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddess]

I think we've really got a leg up on the situation, and I'll tell you what
has made a huge difference.

My son has invisible disabilities, and for years there was an undercurrent
of judgement about my parenting skills. I always felt this, however subtle
or blatant it was. I just hunkered down and ignored it, knowing that people
couldn't understand my situation and trying to be forgiving.

Then one day, after I finally got a diagnosis for him that made sense, I saw
a TV program on his disability that explained it pretty well. I got my hands
on a tape of it, and we scheduled an "inservice" with the rest of the
community about my darling son. I told all about him, and there was a
question and  answer period after the film clip.

There were quite a few tears on the faces of my fellow community members,
and looks of "aha" and of minds finally opened to the idea that I might not
be the world's worst mother, after all. It was a time of great healing for
all of us, and subsequently I feel more connected and I think the people who
live here grew quite a bit from the experience.

We decided that it was silly to confine this to my son, and have made it a
regular process for all the children who live here. The parents get up at a
regular meeting and tell he community about their child: how to talk to
them, what to do if there's a problem, what they like, who their friends
are, etc. We have found this to be a tremendous help and have better
relationships all the way around. I can't tell you enough about how it has
improved things, which were already pretty damn good to begin with.


-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com

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