Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?

[Jeanne Goodman (GoodmanJ]

So much of this thread has been based on assumptions about correct behavior.
For some people correct behavior is to allow their children to run around
without clothing...others find this horrifying. Some believe that the only
proper way to discipline a child is with a rod and that any parent who does
otherwise is just irresponsible and disrespectful.

It would appear to me that a community needs to set up and frequently review
expectations for what is permissible and comfortable and that too often
trouble comes when these assumptions about the "obvious" infractions become
painful.

FWIW: When I was a child I was crushed to find out that a friend of my
parents had not invited me to her wedding. When my parents got back they
said the bride was very upset that we weren't there. She just ASSUMED all of
her guests understood that children were invited. It was part of her culture
that not only children would come but any extended family member was assumed
to come. (So Grandma woulndn't be watching the kids either...she'd be
expected at the wedding.) From that point on invitations were replied to
with comments that explained that "We expect to find childcare for the
children unless otherwise informed."

Jeanne


----- Original Message -----
From: Sara A.
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 03:21
Subject: Re: [C-L]_Fifty Plus Cohousing + ?

Original posting was:
>If a wedding invitation comes addressed to John & Jane Doe without and
family leave the kids at Grandma's if possible or be prepared to send a gift
& turn down the invitation,

Sara wrote:
Here is a prime example of someone thinking that THEIR notions of "correct"
behavior is the only one...

Sara


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