Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Consensus, Majority Vote, "Blocks" [was Report on Survey of Cohousing Communities 2011. Just released. A must read!

[drmaryann99 (drmaryann99]

We have found it easier to achieve 'consensus' when we went from defining it as 
everyone 'agreeing' with the proposal to saying we give our 'consent' to 
proceed. 

At the same time we tightened up the requirements of a legitimate block. You 
must frame your block in terms of the community's vision/mission or by able to 
say how proceeding would harm the community. This eliminated blocks because 
someone didn't 'like' the proposal. 

Mary Ann
--
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners 
who make our souls blossom.  Marcel Proust


On Sep 28, 2011, at 8:18 AM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com> 
wrote:

> 
> 
> On 27 Sep 2011, at 7:56 PM, Moz wrote:
> 
>> ok, the big list of synonyms:
> 
>> willingness to compromise
>> Convergence
>> harmonization.
>> reciprocity.
>> reconciliation.
>> accommodation
>> pleasing
> 
>> converge on a harmonious term, yielding in reciprocal fashion until we 
>> reconcile
>> to a new accommodation that's pleasing to all.
> 
> Gerard Endenburg's goal in developing sociocracy/dynamic governance was to 
> create a business that functioned with the same harmony as his boarding 
> school had achieved with consensus. His first book begins with a poem.
> 
> That isn't apparent from the usual presentation of dynamic governance as 
> designed by an engineer based on cybernetic principles of communications and 
> control. One reason for this more technical approach is the need outside of 
> alternative communities to present consent as practical, not utopian or 
> mystical. Endenburg knew that in his school the Quaker founder could talk of 
> peace and love but in a business environment, decisions had to be made 
> whether people loved each other or not.
> 
> Harmony is the aim, and harmony requires results. Research into teams has 
> shown that success creates a strong team, not personal growth. Personality 
> conflicts melt when the team is focused on and achieves success. With 
> success, people adjust to each other harmoniously.
> 
> So a focus on success defined as the best solution for everyone — given the 
> normal limitations of time, money, and ability — produces the most harmonious 
> environment in which to live and work. In cohousing, I've wondered if it 
> would be good for communities to set annual goals — this year we are going to 
> develop our meal program, our programs for children, or our systems for 
> responding to illnesses or other personal emergencies. These things can be 
> measured from year to year.
> 
> Measurement is stressed in dynamic governance because it creates objective 
> indicators that can be compared over time. Progress becomes apparent. I 
> haven't researched it but there are questionnaires that measure happiness.
> 
> Rob Sandelin used to say something like there are only two questions to be 
> asked. Are you happy? And are you happier than last year? And maybe, what 
> would make you happier in the next year?
> 
>> everyone involved is giving something to the common good. Too often
>> consensus is seen by novices as meaning that everyone gets what they
>> want, especially them.
> 
> Perhaps a solution with which everyone can move closer to what they want. 
> Successive approximations. Or get what they want without taking from someone 
> else. A win-win, not a win-lose. Compromise is a lose-lose — not a good place 
> to begin or end. It's a zero sum game.
> 
> We have a facilitator who stands up before every hopefully decisive 
> discussion and says no one is going to get everything they want. The effect 
> is not what he intended. It's a warning: Bad news. Settle for second or third 
> or even fourth best. There is no aspiration. Why bother?
> 
> Another stresses common ground. In cohousing we are literally already on 
> common ground so when you don't feel harmonious, the idea of more common 
> ground just creates more tension. 
> 
> An outside facilitator can act as a mediator and say I'm going to help you 
> work this out — I've helped many communities resolve more difficult conflicts 
> than this one so everyone is in a better place. That offers a promise of help 
> and a new perspective. (We all know our internal facilitators are mucked up 
> in the issue along with us so they can't inspire the same hopeful trust. And 
> they have in all likelihood already tried everything they know to try.)
> 
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
> 
> 
> 
> 
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