Cohousing-L Mailing List: Speaking Up

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Sep 12, 2023, at 11:12 PM, Elizabeth Magill <pastorlizm [at] gmail.com> 
> wrote:

> But one thing I know about my community is that people are really
> reticent to tell people they are upset that you don't follow the
> rules. So maybe lots of people talk about the way I never follow this
> agreement.

I wish we had practice parties for people to play with the idea of speaking up. 
Just practice saying how you feel or what you think. Maybe if we could get 
people to speak up about non-threatening topics like … I couldn’t think of one 
that someone wouldn’t believe was the cause of all evil. 

Maybe debating teams on hot topics like dirty dishes and what to do about them 
if anything at all.

My friend Steve was walking across the common house one day when I was angry 
about something. He said he was angry about it too. 

I said, “But you never get angry. You are always so relaxed and walking around 
smiling."

He said, "Me! I’m always angry. I’m angry all day. I use all my energy to calm 
myself down. That’s why I smile. So I won’t look angry.”

I think we need to talk about what makes us angry, then everyone would have 
more energy.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org