Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 236, Issue 8

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Sep 12, 2023, at 6:29 PM, Ed Sutton via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:

> Lately I’ve been thinking about Maslow’s Pyramid of values, and how it might 
> apply to cohousing culture.
> One does not reach the higher value levels by omitting lower, basic values.

This is a very interesting way to look at behavior in cohousing. I hadn’t 
thought about Maslow for a long time. I think most of us assume that all our 
lower values are met and don’t need attention. Maybe this is just not true. 

For those not familiar with or who have forgotten, Maslow suggested that our 
ability to resolve one need depends on first meeting another need. The top 
needs can’t be fulfilled until the lower needs are met.

1. Physiological Needs — to have biological requirements for survival met, 
e.g., air, water, food, shelter, warmth, sleep.
2. Safety Needs –  to experience order, predictability, and control in our 
lives.
3. Love and Belongingness Needs – to have emotional needs met -- interpersonal 
relationships, affiliating, connectedness, and being part of a group.
4. Esteem Needs —to feel self-worth, accomplishment, and respect.
5. Self-Actualization Needs — the realization of a person’s potential, 
self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth, and peak experiences.

These are usually presented in a triangle with the first level, Physiological 
Needs, being the widest layer. It supports all the needs above it. The top 
need, self-actualization, depends on having all the other needs met.

One thing I often do with children is respond at the love level with a hug or 
the praise level with compliments when what the child really needs is lunch or 
a sweater. A person who is having problems with income to meet family demands 
isn’t likely to respond to a special opportunity for personal growth or peak 
experience either. 

We are in a discussion about front doors — the theory is that front doors 
should have windows so you are "open to the world” and welcoming. But some 
people are feeling unsafe with a front door of glass. Others want some 
consistency in the look of things —not a different kind of door on every unit. 
(All our doors are in a row in one building.) Design and aesthetics are esteem 
and self-actualization needs that may not be compensating for the safety needs 
of others.

> In co-housing it seems the claim of “higher value” can overrule the need for 
> basic rules of order in process and responsibility.

This may be the reason that cohousing appeals to or is only started by 
middle-class households. You have to have already developed your ability to 
meet your own needs to a great extent before you have the time and financial 
means to participate in forming a community or be able to buy into one. And 
then you need to have the time to contribute the work required to maintain the 
community in addition to still meeting your other needs.

But in reality, the accomplishment of physiological needs is only temporary or 
superficial. They need to be fulfilled every day.

An analysis of behavior in cohousing using Maslow’s hierarchy would be an 
interesting PhD thesis. We all raise the same issues so there must be a common 
cohousing theme.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org