Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Aging out

[Philip Dowds (rphilipdowds]

Much depends on the nature and details of the age-related decline.  Helping 
with meal trains and final days for a few weeks is apparently done by many 
communities.  But for intensive medical care, including med management, toilet 
transfers, infusions, etc?  Or general incapacitating frailty lasting months or 
years?  Most cohousing is not set up or trained for this.

Our 21st-century problem is that modern medicine can keep us alive for much 
longer than it can keep us healthy.

Thanks,
Philip Dowds

> On Aug 31, 2026, at 6:16 AM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> 
> Message: 3
> Date: Sun, 30 Aug 2026 21:01:45 +0000 (UTC)
> From: Bonnie Fergusson <fergyb2 [at] yahoo.com <mailto:fergyb2 [at] 
> yahoo.com>>
> To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org <mailto:cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>>
> Cc: David Entin <davidhentin [at] gmail.com <mailto:davidhentin [at] 
> gmail.com>>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ "Aging out"
> Message-ID: <1736650774.1579131.1788123705249 [at] mail.yahoo.com 
> <mailto:1736650774.1579131.1788123705249 [at] mail.yahoo.com>>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
> 
> At Swans Market Cohousing (26 years since move in day) we have had several 
> original members live here until they died. ?In?Their last days they were 
> cared for by hospice, family members and friends with various kinds of 
> community support. ?Others have chosen to move into assisted living after 
> receiving potentially?fatal diagnoses and twice members were hospitalized for 
> a while before dying and never officially moved out of cohousing. ?It doesn?t 
> make sense to talk about aging out of cohousing. ?As we age our contributions 
> to the community change somewhat but rarely cease much before death. ?And 
> when you live together in community for many years you learn to accommodate 
> change.??
> Bonnie FergussonSwans Market CohousingOakland, CA
> 
> Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad
> 
> 
> On Sunday, August 30, 2026, 1:16 PM, David Entin via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l 
> [at] cohousing.org <mailto:cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>> wrote:
> 
> I wanted to respond to the query of how a community ?navigates aging out.?? 
> The question presupposes that at a certain age or condition people must leave 
> a cohousing community.? One can also live in a cohousing community until 
> one?s death.? Our oldest member, age 87, moved in at our beginning 21 years 
> ago, and died last month.? He had been an active and important contributing 
> member for many years.? Recently he was suffering from vascular dementia and 
> became sick and entered hospice care here in our community.? The community 
> responded with love and care.? Our Care Committee coordinated meals for the 
> family and support for the spouse and sick member.? Many visited with him for 
> the 23 days when he was under hospice care.? Most of us went to his green 
> burial service at a local cemetery and a very meaningful Memorial Service at 
> his church.? 
> David Entin, Rocky Hill Cohousing, Northampton, MA