Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing

[David G Adams (dadams]

Joaniblank asked about sexuality / nudity / romance...

Let's see... We at Cornerstone haven't moved in, of course, but here's 
what's happened on these subjects to date...

One of the early full members has formed an on again, off again relationship 
with one of our consultants (who is also a member now).  There was some 
early gossip and giggling, but no one has ever expressed concern about the 
relationship as far as I know.  They seem pretty set on each buying a unit, 
which is good for our membership goals.  [Sorry if that wasn't disguised 
enough.  People who know us at all probably know who I'm talking about since 
we only have one consultant / full member.]

We have actually decided on a hot tub! (I hope in the green house).  The 
architect envisioned a very secluded spot with its own changing rooms.  When 
several members said it didn't need these, the architect said "what about 
changing out of your wet bathing suits?"  There were several mock-puzzled 
"What bathing suits?" replies.  We will probably end up having Nude warning 
signs or Nude hours, but we haven't worked that out.

In my college co-op, couples would sometimes commandeer a tub or stall for a 
co-ed shower, and just put a sign on the door.  No problem as long as you 
didn't do this at peak time periods.  We also had a roofdeck, and would put 
up "Warning: nude sunbathers" signs on the ladder to the deck.  Sexual 
activity on the deck was frowned upon.  Nudity had to be tolerated unless 
folks already on the deck objected.

There are a couple of lesbian singles or couples in Cornerstone (one couple 
with a baby on the way any day now; already overdue).  The only time I've 
heard that raised as an issue was at an orientation two weeks ago when a 
prospect who was suffering from some sort of psychosis and / or neurosis 
asked me point-blank "I hope you don't have any homosexuals in the group.  
They're a menace to society".  It came as a complete shock to me, because it 
had never been brought up as an issue except as "well, it would be nice if 
we had some gay / bi / lesbian members so that we could feel good about our 
diversity."

Dave Adams
Cornerstone

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  |\/\/\/|  David G. Adams   
  |____  |  U4 Consulting
 OO    ) |  Arlington, MA
 (       |  dadams [at] world.std.com
  |      |  CompuServe: 72630,1374
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