Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Catherine Kehl (tyliku.washington.edu) | |
Date: Wed, 14 Dec 94 21:20 CST |
It all get's down to some sort of issue of shared values -- especially when dealing with kids -- doesn't it? I still wonder how much issues concerning romance and sex get brought up during the formative stage of co-housing communities. It's probably fine if they don't -- as long as people have fairly similar ideas about what is appropriate. It's still kind of the big question I have about the co-housing group I almost moved into (I didn't move in because of space considerations, by the way -- I was certainly willing to make a go of it had I been able to fit!). But looking back at it now, even though my relationships are certainly a personal issue, and tend to be a pretty quiet one at that, it would soon have become obvious to everyone that I have one boyfriend and two girlfriends, all of whom I'm terribly close to, and the group of us (plus various others that I happen not to be sleeping with) tend to hang out together. No, we don't tend to grope eachother in public. On the other hand, my own mother, whom I'm very very close to, and who certainly seems to approve and even be proud of the situation as it stands, has said that she worries about what kind of example I'm setting. See what I mean? A conflict of values. I don't really see people (in, say, a co-housing group that I'd be interested in getting involved with in the first place) saying that there was something wrong with my life. Indeed, the response I've gotten from most people who are not in communities where this is relatively commonplace is "gee, I'm amazed you all get along so well. There must be some really great communication going on." (There is.) On the other hand, while people seem very comfortable letting their kids know that a couple are involved -- without feeling obliged to discuss their personal life beyond that -- I have usually seen Craig described as my boyfriend, and Lisa and Vicka described as "close friends of mine". As to whether it could simply be a non-issue, I can see this going two ways: "nobody makes a big deal about it" which would work very well -- I don't usually make a fuss over it, and I can't see why anyone else would need to, or "nobody has to know" which just wouldn't happen. I mean, naturally, these are my dearest friends in the world, and I'm proud of them. And in any tight-knit community, everyone always knows anyway. Catherine
- Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing, (continued)
- Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing Fred H Olson WB0YQM, December 13 1994
- RE: Romance and Sex in CoHousing Rob Sandelin, December 13 1994
- Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing David G Adams, December 13 1994
- Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing Stuart Staniford-Chen, December 13 1994
- Re: Romance and Sex in CoHousing Catherine Kehl, December 14 1994
- Re: Romance and Sex in Cohousing Eric Hart, December 22 1994
- Re: Romance and Sex in Cohousing Loren Davidson, December 27 1994
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