Re: Fifty Plus Cohousing
From: Dahako (Dahakoaol.com)
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 13:27:01 -0700 (MST)
Hey -

In watching this list, it's my observation that talking about big feelings 
(like hostility, fear, glee, etc) seems to go better when we each stick to 
talking about our own. Now I have definitely felt hostile toward children in 
cohousing from time to time (OK, usually when I reached a level I'd call 
hostile, I was feeling that about my own kids!) 

Seriously, a community with a lot of kids - like Eno Commons in Durham (where I 
used to live) with 20+ kids under 12 years old - can feel very child-centric, 
even to a devoted parent.  We did a number of things in Eno Commons to try to 
make it OK for adults to talk about feelings about other people's kids (an even 
trickier subject than pets) so we could figure out what the problems were and 
build some workable solutions.  For example, if kid noise was a problem during 
a meeting, members felt free to add that to the meeting evaluation as a thing 
to change for next time.

Every community does have its own flavor.  The one I'm with now, Eastern 
Village, in Silver Spring, Maryland (snow, anyone?) looks as if it is going to 
open its doors with only a few households with children.  (Given the number of 
young couples, and the good school system, I think we may have more kids in the 
not too distant future. . .) I've been keeping my kids very much in evidence 
(with dog) at marketing and social events, so my new neighbors will know the 
place isn't kid-free.  Still, I assume the kid issues here will be very 
different than in our previous "kid-rich" environment.

later-
Jessie Handforth Kome
Eastern Village
Silver Spring, Maryland
Where we now have about 30 households and are heading for our first vision 
statement meetings, commonhouse programming and unit design workshops.  Full 
steam ahead!  www.easternvillage.org
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