Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Should individual "sponsorship" be allowed of community

[M.Studer (mstuder]

Hi All:

I have been following the conversation on the individual sponsorship topic.
I have seen theoretical examples given on both sides of why it would or
wouldn't work, and I have seen examples on the "for gifting" side of when
they have used it and felt it worked.

Is there anyone in this conversation or following this conversation that can
provide real concrete (i.e really happened) examples of it not working /
being detrimental to the community?

Thanks!
Michelle Studer
Canal Fulton, Ohio

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Elizabeth Stevenson" <tamgoddess [at] comcast.net>
To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [C-L]_Should individual "sponsorship" be allowed of community


>
> Racheli wrote:
> > Hi Liz,
> > I guess I'm not sure at this point what "equality" you are
> > talking about.
>
> It's a subtle thing, to be sure. I'm talking about a situation where, over
> time, a community acquires a number of things and completes a number of
> projects, both necessary, and optional but desirable. Over time, this same
> community does NOT complete a number of other projects, all of which it
has
> been agreed are desirable. The difference in what gets accomplished over
> time is that in this particular fictional community, many of the projects
> that were purchased or completed were "gifts" from a member or members of
> the community who decided to not wait for these items to come up to number
> one on the list of prioritized items.
>
> In this way, the members of the community who have more money have more
say
> over what gets accomplished. It doesn't mean that those with less money
are
> ostracized or guilty or anything else except enjoying the gifts as they
were
> meant to be enjoyed. It does mean, however,  that their own preferences
were
> given less weight than those of the people with more money.
>
> I'm not sure why you've brought this whole guilt/shame angle into the
> conversation at all, Racheli. I feel that people are bringing a lot of
> cultural baggage into this discussion that is unnecessarily demeaning
about
> poor people. I know of nobody in my community who is ashamed of being
poorer
> than anyone else here.
>
> Let's say a community has decided they want a hot tub. Many people in
> Southside Park Cohousing would like one, me included. But it's the sort of
> thing that people who are afraid to spend money really don't like buying,
so
> it gets put down the list every year. If a group got together and
purchased
> a hot tub, we'd all love the hot tub in and of itself. I'd be in it right
> now, instead of tediously explaining this over and over again.
>
> What I would object to is that other projects would be left undone. If,
for
> instance, everyone also wanted an arbor for shade, but there was nobody
> willing to pay for it out of pocket, and the three poorest families really
> wanted it, it would still not get done. Those three families did not get
> what was really important to them, because the group never prioritized it,
> and they don't have the resources to gift it to the community.
>
> Suppose that, eventually, those three families leave the community. They
> just never felt that they fit in, and that their needs weren't being met.
> They never told the community that this is how they felt, because they
> didn't really understand why themselves. But the truth is, they didn't
feel
> as if their opinions mattered as much as others' did. It's not
> hit-one-over-the-head obvious. It's the chilling effect of subtle
> discrimination.
>
> I'd love to give you specific real examples, but I can't. Our community
> doesn't buy things in this way, so I don't know for certain what the
results
> would be. All I know is that it's unfair. If everyone in every other
> cohousing group wants to allow large gifts from members of the community,
> then that is their choice.
>
> -- 
> Liz Stevenson
> Southside Park Cohousing
> Sacramento, California
> tamgoddess [at] comcast.net
>
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